A World Without Emotions

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Writer's Note: My Journey to Embracing Emotion

As someone on the autism spectrum, my journey has often felt like navigating a world painted in shades of gray, much like the city of Grayscale portrayed in my story. From a young age, I struggled with the concept of emotions, perceiving them as something to be hidden, a source of potential shame. I found myself stopping my own emotional expressions, frightened by the possibility of misunderstanding or judgment from others. The idea of revealing my true feelings felt as daunting as facing the faceless Enforcers in my tale.

Grayscale is not just a fictional city; it is a reflection of my internal world. The character of Felix embodies the courage I have longed to muster—the courage to embrace emotions as a part of my identity rather than a flaw to conceal. Like Felix, I have felt like an anomaly, navigating a society that often seems to demand emotional neutrality. Understanding my own emotions and interpreting those of others has been a lifelong challenge, often leaving me feeling isolated or out of sync with the world around me.

Writing this story was a transformative experience. It allowed me to externalize my struggles and, through Felix's journey, explore the possibility of a world where emotions are not only accepted but celebrated. The mysterious message Felix discovers—“It’s okay to feel”—is a message I am learning to embrace myself. It represents the silent revolution within me, encouraging me to find strength in vulnerability and connection.

The process of creating this narrative was cathartic, each word a step towards self-acceptance. It was my way of crafting paper airplanes like Felix, sending messages of hope into the world, hoping that others who feel like me might catch them. I hope my story encourages readers to recognize the humanity in their own emotions and to see that vulnerability is not a weakness but a powerful aspect of what makes us profoundly human.

Through Felix’s rebellion and the eventual transformation of Grayscale, I found a parallel to my own journey toward understanding and accepting my feelings. In sharing this story, I invite readers to join me in celebrating emotions, to recognize their power and beauty, and to understand that living fully means embracing the full spectrum of our experiences. Emotions are not the enemy; they are the vibrant colors that enrich the tapestry of our lives.

~Helen 

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